Signs That You May Be Working A Dead-End Job
Have you ever felt like you are working at a dead-end job? If you think that you are, you are definitely not alone. With that in mind, just because you think that you may be working a dead-end job, it doesn't necessarily mean that you are. However, if you would like a little bit of proof or verification, you may want to continue reading on.
One of the many signs that you may be working a dead-end job is if you find yourself in the same position, for years and years. If you were hired with the intention of no advancement, your current position may be fine for you. With that in mind, if you have goals and have yet to see those goals accomplished, it may be a sign of a dead-end job. You should never have your work go unrewarded, especially if you were employed by the same company for years.
Another sign that you may be working a dead-end job is if you have been working at the same pay level, also for a number of years. In fact, many employers automatically give their employees pay raises yearly or even quarterly. If you have been employed by the same company and for an extended period of time, you may be working a dead-end job. There is good news though, if your only issue is pay, you may be able to turn your dead-end job into a great job. You can do this by inquiring about a pay raise. Many employers expect this, especially after an extended period of time without a raise; therefore, you may have nothing to lose by at least asking.
The above mentioned signs are just a few of the signs that you may be working a dead-end job. As previously stated, however, it is important to remember that you don't have to keep on working in what may be deemed as a dead-end job forever. There are a number of different steps that you can take to see success. One of those steps involves speaking to your supervisor or supervisors. This may involve asking for an increase in pay or asking for a promotion, should any positions be available. In today's society, you will find that not all individuals want the responsibility of a promotion; therefore, you will want to let your supervisors know that you are not one of those individuals.
Another one of the many ways that you go about getting out of what you may refer to as a dead-end job is by creating a stir, but in a good way. Despite your possible frustration, you may want to consider giving your job, dead-end or not, a second chance. With that second chance though, you are urged to take action. Be sure to do good deeds in front of your supervisors, volunteer to work late or cover someone else's shift in an emergency and so forth. As previously stated, your supervisors may mistakenly believe that you are currently satisfied with your job. You will want to show them that you want more and that you are capable of handling more.
Another option that you have, when looking to rid yourself of a dead-end job, is seeking employment elsewhere. If you have a family to support or bills that must be paid, you may only want to use seeking employment elsewhere as a last resort, but it is still a resort that you may want to examine.
One of the many signs that you may be working a dead-end job is if you find yourself in the same position, for years and years. If you were hired with the intention of no advancement, your current position may be fine for you. With that in mind, if you have goals and have yet to see those goals accomplished, it may be a sign of a dead-end job. You should never have your work go unrewarded, especially if you were employed by the same company for years.
Another sign that you may be working a dead-end job is if you have been working at the same pay level, also for a number of years. In fact, many employers automatically give their employees pay raises yearly or even quarterly. If you have been employed by the same company and for an extended period of time, you may be working a dead-end job. There is good news though, if your only issue is pay, you may be able to turn your dead-end job into a great job. You can do this by inquiring about a pay raise. Many employers expect this, especially after an extended period of time without a raise; therefore, you may have nothing to lose by at least asking.
The above mentioned signs are just a few of the signs that you may be working a dead-end job. As previously stated, however, it is important to remember that you don't have to keep on working in what may be deemed as a dead-end job forever. There are a number of different steps that you can take to see success. One of those steps involves speaking to your supervisor or supervisors. This may involve asking for an increase in pay or asking for a promotion, should any positions be available. In today's society, you will find that not all individuals want the responsibility of a promotion; therefore, you will want to let your supervisors know that you are not one of those individuals.
Another one of the many ways that you go about getting out of what you may refer to as a dead-end job is by creating a stir, but in a good way. Despite your possible frustration, you may want to consider giving your job, dead-end or not, a second chance. With that second chance though, you are urged to take action. Be sure to do good deeds in front of your supervisors, volunteer to work late or cover someone else's shift in an emergency and so forth. As previously stated, your supervisors may mistakenly believe that you are currently satisfied with your job. You will want to show them that you want more and that you are capable of handling more.
Another option that you have, when looking to rid yourself of a dead-end job, is seeking employment elsewhere. If you have a family to support or bills that must be paid, you may only want to use seeking employment elsewhere as a last resort, but it is still a resort that you may want to examine.
| Timothy Kendrick, Rainmaker Media http://retrainyourbrain.blogspot.com http://timothy-kendrick.blogspot.com/ http://timothykendrick.tradebit.com/ http://wallace-wattles.blogspot.com/ http://angerresolution.blogspot.com/ http://rainmakercash.com http://theselfhelpcenter.com/ http://homehealthremedy.blogspot.com/ http://rainmakerty.blogspot.com http://myhollywoodsecret.com http://tkdigistore.com http://reversegrayhair.info |
Retrain Your Brain Seven Development Steps thru Visualization and Affirmation
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Retrain Your Brain Seven Development Steps thru Visualization and Affirmation
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A useful way to send new messages to your subconscious mind
2. Write a list of 5 affirmations that you want to repeat regularly
These affirmations should be related to the goal you want to achieve. For example, if you want to do better in study, you could say "I study well", "I am organized", "I do well in my exams". These will help to build your confidence and change your thinking if you are struggling on these things.
3. Repeat the affirmations you have, every single day
Do this for 1-2 minutes at most. This is all that is required. Repeat it as if it is true and in a confident way with passion. This allows the messages to penetrate more easily in the unconscious mind.
These affirmations should be related to the goal you want to achieve. For example, if you want to do better in study, you could say "I study well", "I am organized", "I do well in my exams". These will help to build your confidence and change your thinking if you are struggling on these things.
3. Repeat the affirmations you have, every single day
Do this for 1-2 minutes at most. This is all that is required. Repeat it as if it is true and in a confident way with passion. This allows the messages to penetrate more easily in the unconscious mind.
4. Affirmations only change your beliefs. Physical action must be done by you
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You will still need to put the physical actions in to achieve what you want. The affirmations are only changing the beliefs, but physical action allows you to take advantage of those beliefs in the best way possible. As you learn to focus your mind and establish greater control within, greater results overall can be created for you.
Overall, affirmations can be a useful way to change your thinking and belief systems. When repeated with passion and as if it is real, it can enter your unconscious mind (same as the subconscious) and be charged with the power of intention. This means you will act as if the belief is true, and this will help to carry you in the direction of your goal. However, remember than you still need to put in all the physical efforts to make maximum progress from this.
Overall, affirmations can be a useful way to change your thinking and belief systems. When repeated with passion and as if it is real, it can enter your unconscious mind (same as the subconscious) and be charged with the power of intention. This means you will act as if the belief is true, and this will help to carry you in the direction of your goal. However, remember than you still need to put in all the physical efforts to make maximum progress from this.
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Supreme Concentration: Superior Performance
Receive a Free Self Hypnosis MP3:
Why are professional athletes able to perform
so well on a consistent basis? It's because they're so familiar with their sport and have put in so much time that wherever or whenever they compete they're focused and are ready for whatever the environment throws at them. A great way to attain this ability is by utilizing hypnosis for sports. You'll build your concentration and desensitize yourself to situations where you typically feel nervous so you'll be able to compete in any extreme. In this article we'll go over the principals of hypnosis for sports and discuss why it's effective, and how you can implement it to become a better athlete.
The basis of hypnosis for sports is quite simple, you're going to gain control over your mind and then present hypothetical situations to it so that you're prepared if they ever arise. A good example of this if you were a basketball player would be to imagine shooting foul shots with the entire crowd booing you. First though you've got to do some mind training so that the visualizations will be effective.
So first you want to find a place that's comfortable and free from any distractions. Once you're comfortable I want you to close your eyes and pay attention to your breathing. Try and stay focused on the rise and fall of the chest and the feeling of the air entering your lungs. You'll quickly find that your mind is constantly bombarded with thoughts. The key here is to acknowledge the thoughts but let them go, don't pursue them any further. This is the key aspect of hypnosis for sports as it allows you to gain control over your mind, so you're going to want to practice it until your thoughts become few and far between.
Once you're fully relaxed and your thoughts have slowed down you're ready for the visualization. This is obviously going to vary for each sport and the circumstance that you're performing the hypnosis in but to demonstrate we'll use football. Let's say you've got a big game later this evening and you're feeling quite nervous. A great visualization to implement would be one where you catch the winning pass or making a game saving play. Performing this kind of hypnosis for sports visualization will calm the nerves and allow you to focus your attention on actually doing what you played over in your mind with your visualization.
Another useful visualization used in hypnosis for sports would be to imagine all the negative things that you're nervous about before the game. This may seem counterproductive but if you desensitize yourself to these sorts of things then you won't be as worried about committing them and you'll be able to focus more on the game.
So to summarize, the most important aspect of hypnosis for sports is to enter a state of deep relaxation where you've gained full control over the mind. This will allow you to focus one pointedly on anything you choose, and allow you to call up any emotion you desire. If you still feel nervous or you want to desensitize yourself to something that could go wrong you can try a visualization.
Hypnosis for sports is that easy, and you can literally start to see effects in just a few days of practicing. The best part of all is that it will stick with you for life. Hypnosis for sports teaches principals that affect you at the core of your being, so if you master them you're sure to improve in not just sports, but every aspect of life. Go HERE For More
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3 Steps to Abundance & Success
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It's one of the most surprisingly powerful mind-body approaches to personal growth you'll ever find…
And hundreds of thousands (maybe even millions) of people have started using it in recent years to relieve pain, reduce stress and anxiety, and even conquer fears and phobias.
By simply touching (or tapping) meridian points on your body while you recite specific phrases and concentrate on an issue, you can eliminate energetic blocks and subconscious fears…
And even open yourself to achieving more abundance and success.
So can something so simple really shift your abundance?
The answer is YES! This technique — called Tapping (also known as Emotional Freedom Technique or EFT) — is effective, yet it's also surprisingly easy to use and share with others.
And the results have often proven to be deeply transformational.
How Does Tapping Work?
According to ancient Chinese medicine, the human body has about 20 meridian points. It's theorized that a person's life energy flows through these points, but…
Any fear or negative charges accumulated in these meridian points will end up blocking them and damaging the sequence. Tapping helps to clear this blocked energy using nothing more than your fingers and ultimately, intention.
Think of it like acupuncture, only without the frightening needles (a relief for anyone who is scared of needles!)
Unlike acupuncture, Tapping is not just exclusive to experts or masters. It's really easy to practice this technique effectively and give yourself results for issues that other methods have failed to resolve.
Remove Your Fear of Failure
I've identified five types of subconscious fears that reside within us:
Fear of success, fear of failure, fear of change, fear of losing your identity and fear of unworthiness.
We're each locked in a silent battle with at least one of them, and they are holding us back from unleashing our abundant potential.
But the good news is, these subconscious fears can be banished…all through Tapping.
For now, let's concentrate on one of the most common fears: the fear of failure. Many of you may have already thought about how your fear of failure blocks your abundance…but changing still scares you.
And maybe you haven't had the right tools to clear your fear of failure — until now.
So let's start at the beginning. How do we get so afraid of failure that we won't try anything new?
It takes time and training to learn how to be afraid of failing. We either learn the fear from someone in our family, we're taught that failing is terrible (rather than just the world giving us feedback), or we have a negative experience and vow never to take a risk again.
I invite you to imagine a life without this fear…
Imagine a life where you are eager and looking forward to new ideas and new chances to succeed…
Imagine a life where trying something new feels exciting and optimistic, rather than dangerous or a recipe for failure.
Are you ready to stop imagining and start experiencing?
Then let's begin with these Tapping setup phrases to raise your energy vibration by choosing to clear your fear of failure!
Step 1: Tapping Setup Phrases to Attract Abundance
(If you aren't familiar with Tapping, please refer to the diagram for the tapping points.)
The Tapping Setup Phrases to clear your fear of failure are as follows:
While tapping the karate chop spot on either hand, repeat these phrases out loud —
- "Even though I'm afraid to fail so I won't even try, I deeply and completely accept myself anyway."
- "Even though it feels dangerous to try new things because I might fail, I accept who I am and how I feel."
- "Even though the risk of failing is too big so I'm not going to try anything new, I deeply and completely accept myself anyway."
You may repeat the positive round more than once if you wish.
Step 2: Unblock the Negative Energy
Now that you've done the tapping setup phrases, you can get specific with phrases that focus on the problem.
I have indicated where to tap while saying each of the phrases below.
- Eyebrow: "I'm so afraid to fail."
- Side of Eye: "I've failed too much already."
- Under Eye: "I don't want to take a risk — I might fail."
- Nose: "I'm not sure how to take a risk without failing."
- Chin: "It feels stupid to take a risk."
- Collarbone: "I can't afford to fail again…"
- Under Arm: "I'm too afraid to even try…what if I fail?"
- Head: "I'm afraid of what it will feel like if I fail yet again."
Step 3: Raise Your Vibration
Now for the positive focus on the solution.
- Eyebrow: "What if I started to take some tiny risks…and didn't fail?"
- Side of Eye: "Maybe I don't have to be afraid of failing all the time."
- Under Eye: "What if I succeed instead of failing?"
- Nose: "What if I don't have to look at change as failure…"
- Chin: "I want to feel inspired to Clear My Fear of Failure."
- Collarbone: "I'm ready and willing to Clear My Fear of Failure."
- Under Arm: "I choose to feel inspired to Clear My Fear of Failure."
- Head: "I choose to Clear My Fear of Failure and enjoy new opportunities."
You can also access more positive abundance vibrations with the Law of Attraction by repeating the following phrases (while tapping or not):
- Thank You, Universe for teaching me how to Clear My Fear of Failure…I feel more aligned with abundance already!
- Thank You, Universe for allowing me to feel inspired to Clear My Fear of Failure…I am looking forward to uplifting results!
- Thank You, Universe for making it so easy for me to Clear My Fear of Failure…I feel the vibrational shift and power already!
Simply repeat these steps, as many times as you like or need, and enjoy using the Law of Attraction to bring more of what you want into your life!
To witness the true transformational benefits of Tapping, watch this inspiring, complimentary video that follows a case study of five people who made the positive shift into abundance through Tapping.
We promise the video will put a smile of hope on your face! 
About the Author:
Carol Look is a success and abundance coach in the energy psychology field.
Her specialty is inspiring clients to attract abundance into their lives by using EFT/ Meridian Tapping and the Law of Attraction to clear limiting beliefs, release resistance and build "prosperity consciousness."
With a distinguished background in traditional psychotherapy, Carol discovered that combining energy healing methods with her classic training brought incredible results to her clients and unlimited success to her practice.
Which of your amazing friends is financially blocked and needs to know how to attract more abundance into their lives using this easy technique?
The Alchemist and the Sacredness of Following Your Dreams
The Alchemist, by Paulo Coelho, is an inspirational fable about a Spanish shepherd, Santiago, who sets out on a quixotic quest to find a treasure at the Egyptian pyramids. Along the way he learns various spiritual lessons. The lessons he learns include the importance of paying attention to the signs in our life, and that it is our responsibility to follow our dreams, our inner vision, because that is how we become whole.
Our dreams are sacred and powerful, and we must do all that we can to follow our calling. An Apache shaman once said, "A man not living his vision is living death." I believe this is true. This quote may not be as poetic as the quotes in The Alchemist, but it is profoundly wise and has layers of meanings.
The shaman's wisdom inspired me to create The Warrior Spirit –How To Use Hidden Mind Powers and Ancient Wisdom To Create Wealth and Much More! It teaches how we can conquer personal demons that keep us from realizing our life's vision. In doing so, we become the alchemist, transforming our lead into gold, figuratively speaking.
The Warrior Spirit takes up where The Alchemist book left off. It provides guidance on how to achieve your inspired dreams, and it empowers you at the core, at the spiritual level.
Today, I came across an inspiring article by Matthew Walsh about The Alchemist. Matthew, the founder of Spiritual Media Blog Newsletter, wrote about the upcoming movie based on The Alchemist and included great Alchemist quotes about the power of following our dreams. May this article help to remind you of the sacredness of your dreams. Below is an excerpt from his article:
* * *
In an interview, Paulo Coelho made these bold declaration about following your dreams:
"We who fight for our dream suffer far more when it doesn't work out, because we cannot fall back on the old excuse: 'Oh, well, I didn't really want it anyway.' We do want it and know that we have staked everything on it…
Then, we warriors of light must be prepared to have patience in difficult times and to know that the Universe is conspiring in our favor, even though we may not understand how…
When we first begin fighting for our dream, we have no experience and make many mistakes. The secret of life, though, is to fall seven times and to get up eight times. So why is it so important to live our personal calling if we are only going to suffer more than other people? Because, once we have overcome the defeats–and we always do–we are filled by a greater sense of euphoria and confidence…
If you believe yourself worthy of the thing you fought so hard to get, then you become an instrument of God, you help the Soul of the World, and you understand why you are here."
Please share your comments below and share with friends.
Reprinted from Matthew Welsh's Spiritual Media Blog Newsletter.
Matthew Welsh is the founder of Spiritual Media Blog, the News Source for Spiritual Entertainment. For more information about Spiritual Media Blog please visit www.SpiritualMediaBlog.com
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Feed Your Mind with Inspiration and Wisdom
Have you ever noticed that your thoughts tend to ―snowball‖ the
more you focus in a particular direction? The more you focus on
things that make you feel frightened, the more those fearful
feelings will continue to grow.
On the other hand, if you can distract yourself from those fearful
thoughts – even for a few minutes – you will notice that you
automatically start focusing in a more positive direction. Even
better, this snowball effect can last for hours, long after you have
stopped deliberately focusing on positive thoughts.
For this reason, deliberately feeding your mind with positive
material from books and films can have a powerful calming effect
on fear. Some of the best sources of inspiration and wisdom are
works of inspiring literature, empowering non-fiction books, and
films that deliver messages about courage, strength, and joy.
Not only can you absorb positive thoughts by reading the books and watching the films, you can
take it a step further and jot down a few insights about them in a blank journal and explore how
they might apply in your own life.
(and of course every week as a subscriber of Evolution Ezine you'll get free inspirational and
educational art, articles, downloads, videos, audios, poetry, comedy, music, games and more! –
Click here to subscribe for free)
more you focus in a particular direction? The more you focus on
things that make you feel frightened, the more those fearful
feelings will continue to grow.
On the other hand, if you can distract yourself from those fearful
thoughts – even for a few minutes – you will notice that you
automatically start focusing in a more positive direction. Even
better, this snowball effect can last for hours, long after you have
stopped deliberately focusing on positive thoughts.
For this reason, deliberately feeding your mind with positive
material from books and films can have a powerful calming effect
on fear. Some of the best sources of inspiration and wisdom are
works of inspiring literature, empowering non-fiction books, and
films that deliver messages about courage, strength, and joy.
Not only can you absorb positive thoughts by reading the books and watching the films, you can
take it a step further and jot down a few insights about them in a blank journal and explore how
they might apply in your own life.
(and of course every week as a subscriber of Evolution Ezine you'll get free inspirational and
educational art, articles, downloads, videos, audios, poetry, comedy, music, games and more! –
Click here to subscribe for free)
Your Brain on Vacation: 11 Proven Benefits of Taking Time Off
Your brain works hard every day, regulating your breathing, controlling your heart rate, helping you shout answers at the TV while "Jeopardy" is on. Isn't it time you gave it a rest? Sure, you could zone out for a few minutes and take a so-called "brain vacation," but then you risk making all your other organs jealous. Allow us to give you the incentive to book that trip you've been debating taking to the Bahamas: your brain reaps terrific benefits like these when you shut the office down and check out.
-
Lower stress levels:
We're sure we don't have to tell you taking time off from stressful work makes you feel less stressed. But you may have only suspected the corollary benefit, which is that your performance goes up after a period of no stress. A study by doctors at Weill Cornell MedicalCollege in New York found that in rats and medical students, test results were much lower for tests taken during periods of high stress. But given time to let that stress dissolve, the subjects scored much higher. -
Stimulating creative thinking:
If you can afford to take your vacation abroad, you'll receive the added benefit of kick starting your creative juices. Research byNorthwestern University professor Adam Galinsky and INSEAD business professor William Maddux found that travel abroad helps people overcome "functional fixedness" by forcing people to adapt to new cultures and ways of doing things. However, the boost in creativity was found to be more significant in people who lived abroad, as opposed to brief visitors, so the longer you can stay, the better. -
Enhanced changes in brain connections:
Kids may look forward to hiking, fishing, riding roller-coasters, eating junk food, or any number of other fun activities that don't get to do at home. But for many adults, the best thing about vacation is sleep. And sleep has a number of brain benefits and can even physically impact the brain for the better. A UC-San Francisco study with cats proved sleep helped create more brain change after an environmental stimulus. And during deep sleep, the brain reorganizes connections to the most optimal arrangement. -
Improved memory:
Dopamine is one of the "happy hormones" produced by the brain that plays a number of roles, but especially factors into learning. Dopamine is released when we experience something new (as we do during a vacation) and helps form memories. Dr. Russell Poldrack, of the Imaging Research Center at the University of Texas at Austin says that participating in such new activities can even help prevent Alzheimer's disease. -
Combat depression:
Although science cannot yet explain the entire process for what causes depression, it is known that at its root, depression is a brain problem. It is believed that the chemicals the brain uses to communicate are out of balance in people with depression. It has been proven, however, that vacations help the brain fight depression. For example, a 2005 study conducted at Wisconsin's Marshfield Clinic found that women who don't take regular vacations are two to three times more likely to be depressed than women who take them regularly. -
Increased serotonin output:
In addition to increased dopamine, vacation also causes your brain to up its production of serotonin. Although too much serotonin can cause problems, a good amount of it is crucial for emotional stability and even a person's social life, as high serotonin levels predispose people to a positive outlook and a friendly demeanor. Could this explain why it's so easy to make friends while you're on vacation? -
Improved reaction time:
A 2006 study out of New Zealand discovered that after a vacation, people had a 25% quicker reaction time in the brain, eyes, and muscles on average, and as much as an 80% improvement in some cases. And that was after a vacation that lasted as little as two or three days. The boost was attributed to the better-quality and longer-lasting sleep that travelers get on vacation. -
Keep your brain out of "calorie" mode:
This is actually an overallhealth benefit , but it begins with your brain. Dr. Tony Massey says that even small stressors like trying to talk on a cell phone and drive in traffic cause your brain to go through chemical changes: your brain begins outputting signals to your body that make you feel hungrier and crave calories, especially empty calories. So getting away from stress on vacation can actually help you keep your weight down. -
Improved ability to coordinate and plan:
In addition to allowing you more free time to work out, virtually every vacation involves exercise you wouldn't normally get, like carrying luggage, running to make a flight, walking around sightseeing, and more. And of course, the brain benefits of exercise are well-documented. Aerobic exercise strengthens your mind's ability to plan long-term, coordinate multiple tasks, and stay focused longer. So while laying on a beach for a week is good, mixing in a hike, bike ride, surfing lesson, or golf outing is even better. -
Feeling like a kid again:
According to Baylor neuroscience professor David Eagleman, adults tend to compress memories, which results in the feeling that time is going faster than it really is. The way to combat this perception is to take a vacation somewhere you've never been before, "essentially putting you — neurally — in the same position as when you were a child." And who doesn't want to feel like a kid again? -
Limits brain-damaging screen time:
The amount of time children spend in front of video screens is higher than ever. Although too much time staring at TV and computer screens is not good for anyone, it is especially damaging to children, whose brains are still developing. Experts are saying children are risking dependency on screen time due to over-exposure, and they worry that the brain could be permanently rewired after too much computer game time. Leave the laptops and portable DVD players at home, and vacations are a great way to give your kids' brains a much-needed screen time break. http://www.onlinemba.com
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Books By Timothy Kendrick
Smoketipecigs
The Truth About Hypnosis
Panic Miracle
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Four Simple Keys to Transform Your Life
What's Best for All
The Power of Choice . Every one of us makes countless choices every day. Every choice we make has an impact on our lives. Even insignificant choices can affect what we experience and how we feel. When hunger strikes, we can reach for a healthy, nutritious snack, or we can choose the sugar high of junk food. The more important the decision, the more profound its effect. For instance, how do I act towards that person who treated me badly? Do I generally choose to be passive, or do I actively set clear intentions and create what I want in my life? Every choice we make, however big or small, affects us in some way.
How Do You Make Choices? If you are interested in living a richer, fuller life, there is a foundation upon which you can base all of your decisions which can make life better not only for you, but also for those around you. This foundation is to choose based on what's best for all. Imagine a world where every parent, spouse, friend, teacher, businessperson, and politician truly did their best to choose what's best for all involved in every decision they made. We would certainly live in a more caring, supportive world.
It's the Intention. "But how do I know what is really best?" you might ask. The answer is simple. It doesn't matter. What matters is not the choice you make, but rather the intention behind your choice. What matters is that whatever decision you make, you are clear in your intention of choosing based on what's best for all. If it later turns out that you made what appears to have been a bad choice, there's no need for guilt. Knowing that you did your best to choose with a sincere desire for what's best for all, your conscience stays clear and open. This then allows you to more easily learn from your mistakes, and to live with a clear heart and mind.
What's Best for Me, Too! Choosing what's best does not mean you have to always sacrifice yourself for others. An overly exhausted mother can lose her temper easily. Some time off for this mother might seem selfish, yet in the long run, it can help her to be a better mother to her children. So as we move through each day of our lives, let us remember to include ourselves as we do our best to choose what's best for all.
Divine Guidance
Many Meanings for Divine. Guidance can come from many sources. Yet by opening to guidance from the divine, we open to the support of powerful forces greater than ourselves. The divine has different meanings for different people, whether it be God, Creator, Jehovah, Allah, or Great Spirit. Yet even if you don't believe in any of these, consider the possibility that there is a very wise part of yourself—a higher self or a deeper self—which can provide you with guidance. What is important is that we open to this presence, however we choose to define the divine, and that we consciously invite this powerful guidance into our daily lives.
All Requests Only if it's Best. When seeking divine guidance with a specific result, be sure to end with "only if this is what's best for all." There are times when what's best is not what's easiest or most enjoyable. Sometimes unwanted or unexpected challenges, difficult situations, and even pain can teach us important lessons that in the long run help us to enjoy life more fully. When we choose to see all experiences as gifts from the divine and opportunities for growth and understanding, we open to a deeper level of divine guidance.
Acceptance and Understanding
Our Core Essence. Deep down we are all beautiful beings worthy of love and support. The sweet innocence of babies and young children is a clear example of this. Yet for most of us, the shining essence with which we came into this life became obscured over the years as our family and others were unable to give us the kind of unconditional love and support we so craved. As children, when we were repeatedly told that we were not good enough or were punished just for being who we are, thick layers of confusion and doubt developed, clouding our divine essence. Layers of fear and insecurity were woven into our personalities.
The Mask. By the time we are grown, most of us have developed a protective mask or persona to hide these layers of fear and insecurity from others, and at times even from ourselves. Outwardly we might appear happy or content, yet on the inside most of us to varying degrees feel unhappy with who we are. Yet beneath it all, that shining essence is still there. No matter how much we may have forgotten, no matter how thick those overshadowing layers may be, our beautiful core essence is and has always been there.
Accepting and Understanding Myself. By choosing to accept and understand all of who you are—both your deep shining essence and the layers of dark clouds within—you can invite that beautiful inner essence to shine through the clouds and to shine again in your life. When fears, dark thoughts, or difficult emotions arise, first choose to accept that they are there. Then work towards understanding these dark clouds and where they came from. Ask for divine guidance as you explore and transform these dark places.
Courage. It takes courage to accept and work to understand our fears and weaknesses. Yet by doing our best to be fully ourselves in all our strengths and weaknesses, our relationships can grow richer, deeper, and more meaningful. This may be challenging, as some people are unable or unwilling to accept certain parts of us. Yet as those around us see us becoming more real and honest with them, many will also be inspired to be more real and honest with us. Thus, instead of continually avoiding or denying those clouds or dark layers in both ourselves and others, we open to a deeper, more authentic way of living and of relating to others.
Accepting and Understanding Others. As you develop greater acceptance and understanding of yourself, you will notice that others, too, have lost touch with their shining core essence. As you work to accept and understand yourself, it is most important that you choose also to give this gift to those around you. Acceptance of what is, coupled with understanding of what we can change and what we cannot, allows us to find the courage to be all that we can be, and to empower others in doing the same.
Love and Empowerment
Let me start with myself. I will do my best to love and empower myself to be the best I can be every day of my life. By making this commitment to yourself, it becomes easier to love and empower those around you. But do you really want to give this gift to all other people? What if you really don't like someone? In this case, you can remind yourself that it is usually a person's personality that you don't like—the mask or dark clouds blocking their deeper essence. Remember that beneath the mask is a shining divine essence. While acknowledging those parts you don't like, do your best to empower the shining being hidden beneath the mask or personality that you don't like. You can choose to love and empower the divine spark within all.
Negative Judgment. Judging someone to be bad as a person does not empower or inspire anyone to be a better person. When you find yourself feeling negative judgment, first acknowledge the part of you that wants to judge—the part that wants to be right or better than others. Then do your best to learn from your judgment and let it go. Open to finding first acceptance, and then understanding and love both for you and for the person you judged. Choose to let your last thought always be that of love.
Stopping harm. What if someone does something that is clearly wrong or causes harm? In this case, be firm and take whatever action you feel is best to stop harm. Enforcing a serious consequence with someone who has acted out of extreme self-interest may be the most loving, empowering action you can take. Yet even as you take action, open to seeing the inner turmoil that causes people to do harm. You can act from a place of love and support, even while firmly stopping someone from doing wrong or causing harm. Through choosing to see beneath all of the pain, suffering, and hatred, and to recognize and connect with the divine essence within even those who would do us harm, not only do we heal the world, we heal ourselves.
Imagine… Imagine for a moment a world where all people truly did their best to love and empower each other. Imagine if a significant number of the people on this planet truly did their best to live by these simple keys. You can choose to become one of those people right now. You can choose to make your life and our world a better place. It is fully possible. There are people of all races, religions, and beliefs around the globe already committed to living by these or similar ideals. Let us then choose with an open mind and heart to add to their numbers. Let us choose every day of our lives to do what's best for all, to open to divine guidance, to accept and understand, and to love and empower ourselves and all around us to be the best that we can be.
For the full, eight-page version of Simple Keys: www.weboflove.org/keystolife
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10 Steps to Infuse Your Goals (Brain) With Momentum-Inspiring Passion
One of the keys to success in any area of your life is staying focused on what's important in a given situation or period of time. What you most desire – your goals – are inseparably connected to your highest values, certain core emotional yearnings you are hardwired, as a human being, to aspire to realize.
The key to realizing what you want therefore lies not only in your ability to stay focused on your goals, but also the skill of cultivating and holding fast to an impassioned understanding of the connection between your goals and your deepest values. It's about getting your brain to work for you, optimally, with you.
Connecting what you want to higher values?
You can realize amazing things in your life and relationships when you understand the power of your focused attention. No longer theory, there are complex processes that are automatically handled by the 'operating system' of your brain and body, also known as the subconscious or unconscious mind. What you pay attention to expands.
Simultaneously, certain core universal yearnings or values operate automatically, in that, these hardwired emotional drive/needs, consciously or subconsciously, motivate human behaviors akin to human physical drives for sustenance.
More precisely, what we're talking about here is how to make this a conscious process, something that you, and not your subconscious mind, are in charge of.
As long as you remain a passive bystander, your subconscious mind will be solely in control of forming or changing your habits, guessing what goals and wants best fulfill your deepest yearnings. Of course it gets it wrong perhaps most of the time. That's because many of the perceptions that it relies on (i.e., about what you need to do to matter in life) were imprinted subconsciously when you were a small child!
Additionally, your subconscious mind automatic releases feel-good and feel-bad hormones, and cannot discern between feel-good options that are healthy (i.e., nutritious food) or toxic (i.e., junk food, drugs), and feel-bad options that are toxic (i.e., poison) or healthy (i.e., facing a fear of conflict). It's up to conscious you, and your wise-self to discipline and 'teach' or 'train' your mind and body to adopt healthy choices.
Ten steps to infuse your goals with momentum.
Speaking of goals, studies shows people who have written goals, or better yet S.M.A.R.T. goals, are more likely to realize them. It makes sense, considering that, when you take time to write something down, you automatically engage your brain in deeper processes of focused attention.
Unless you've achieved mastery in focusing your attention, it's preferable to select one or maximum two goals, from your personal list of goals, to work on to complete the ten step exercise below. If you have not yet put together your own personal list, here are two lists of goals (personal and relational) to give you some ideas, from which to choose one or two goals most important to you.
Possibilities for personal goals:
- Improve my self-esteem and confidence.
- Develop healthy body-image and relationship with my body.
- Adopt a lifestyle of eating nutritious foods (and break addiction to junk foods).
- Let go of extra weight to look and feel better.
- Realize and maintain a trim, fit, healthy body.
- Embrace a lifestyle of regular exercise.
- Improve my performance, success and productivity at work (career, school, etc.).
- Break an addiction to drinking, smoking or taking substances.
- Stop or dramatically reduce time on computer or watching TV.
- Break free of fear of failure to go after my dream, career, relationship, etc.
- Serve and meaningfully contribute to a community or group.
Possibilities for relationship goals:
- Energize emotional closeness, fun, passion in my couple relationship.
- Cultivate deeper, more engaging friendships.
- Heal a relationship with a parent, sibling or child.
- Attract a special partner, who is loving, healthy and caring.
- Heal my couple relationship from harmful conflict, infidelity or other trauma.
So, take out a sheet of paper and a pen and write down a goal you now select, and would like to devote yourself to infusing with action-activating passion. Begin by writing the goal down, and then complete the exercise below.
1. What do you most want?
First, clearly articulate what you goal you want to focus your mind and body's attention on.
EXAMPLES of goals:
- I want to improve my self-esteem and confidence.
- I want to heal my relationship with one of my children.
2. Revise core assumptions to declare belief in yourself, and own your capacity to change.
Second, whenever you set a goal, what you're doing is declaring your intention to make a change, whether big or small. In order to energize the power to change, you need to first check your core assumptions about yourself, your capacity for change, and so on. Revise them accordingly to declare belief in both yourself and where the source of your power to change resides – inside. When you consciously choose to believe in yourself, and your inner capabilities to empower positive change, you step into an image or vision of yourself as a responsible and caring architect and creator of your life experiences.
The reason this is so powerful is that it energizes your subconscious mind to better serve you, to learn and to be open to incorporate an empowering mindset, and an optimal set of perceptions that would best allow you to live your best life and relationships.
Three Essential Assumptions to consider adopting:
- I take complete and full responsibility for realizing any of my goals or making changes in any area of my life.
- I believe in myself, and am grateful for my innate capacity to do and change anything I put my mind and heart to realizing.
- I always have a choice to choose what is good and in the highest interest of my mind, body and spirit (emotional well-being).
3. Why do you want what you want?
Third, consider why you want to realize this goal.
EXAMPLE of why you may want what you want:
- I want to realize this goal because I want to feel confident, to accept and to feel better about myself as a person when I'm around others.
4. Explore 'why' more deeply to fully understand and exhaust all reasons.
In the fourth step, look for what reasons underlie your reasons to create an exhaustive list of reasons. To the extent you understand why you want something, you accordingly energize your inner passion for this goal.
To more deeply explore, keep asking yourself, "What else can you say about this?" or "Is there more to this?" after each of your "why" responses you write down.
EXAMPLE of responses to "What else can you say about this?"
- Well, I don't want people to take advantage of me like they did my mother. I want to be able to say 'no' instead of stewing inside, then resenting others or myself.
EXAMPLE of a response to "Is there more to this?"
- I don't want to end up like my mother who didn't have the confidence to stop my father from beating us. Until recently, I blamed her for the beatings my siblings and I endured. Now, the more I mature and have gotten to know her, I realize that she wasn't an accomplice, that she just felt powerless in the face of my father's anger.
EXAMPLE of another response to "Is there more to this?"
- Yes. It breaks my heart that I am setting a bad example for my daughter, by not having the confidence to value myself, speak my views with confidence.
5. Explore deeper values (emotional drives or "needs") you yearn to fulfill by meeting this goal?
In step five, you connect with the deeper values or emotional drives related to your goal, of which the overarching one is 'to matter' in life. Keep in mind these universal yearnings, such as the yearning for happiness, safety, health and wellbeing, understanding, integrity, fun, emotional connection, and so on, have life-shaping power as they activate the firing and wiring of neurons that in turn determine if you take action or not, and whether the action you take leads you closer (toward) or farther (away) from your goal.
EXAMPLE of what deeper values or emotional drives that you may be seeking to fulfill by meeting this goal:
- The emotionally drives seeking to be fulfilled by my attaining more confidence and self-esteem are happiness, acceptance, emotional connection, and authenticity.
6. What do you most fear in relation achieving this goal?
Sixth, you identify what you fear most in relation to successfully realizing this goal, for example, ask yourself: "What would be the worst thing about completely achieving this goal?"
EXAMPLE of a fear in relation to achieving this goal:
- I guess what I would fear most if I had self-esteem and confidence is that others, especially my family and friends would not like me, or even reject me, and think I am selfish, self-centered or arrogant.
7. What do you fear most in relation to failing to achieve this goal?
In step seven, you ask a similar question, but this time you seek to identify what you fear most in relation to not fulfilling this goal. Here, ask yourself the following, "What would be the worst thing about failing to achieve this goal."
EXAMPLE of a fear in relation to failing to achieve this goal:
- It would be a terrible life, in that I'd feel trapped and voiceless, as if I do not even exist or matter to others, or to myself, since I don't even have the courage to stand up to speak my views in my personal relationships, and at work.
8. What do you declare instead for yourself?
For this step, you now declare for yourself what you aspire and yearn for instead, in other words, in place of what you do not want to happen. This articulates a new vision for your life.
EXAMPLES of what I declare for myself instead:
- To feel healthy self-esteem and to live a life of confidence despite any fear or doubt I have.
- To feel confident and believe in myself enough, to be a healthy and positive example for my daughter, by having the courage to be myself, to stand up to express how I feel.
- To feel worthwhile, deserving to make requests, saying what I want.
- To feel confident that because this is a most loving thing to do for myself, that those who love me in a healthy way would want this for me as well, just as I want this for my daughter.
9. What action big or small will I commit to start taking today?
Next, identify a specific action you can start taking right away in the direction of your goal. This step is critical because action is what seals the deal so to speak. In other words, though all steps listed here are important, in essence, the true benefit of the first seven steps is to ensure that your focus and attention, and thus any action you take move you in the direction of realizing your goal. It does not have to be huge, just small action
EXAMPLES of an action step am I committed to start taking today:
- Memorize the Three Core Assumptions and, for a month, repeat them three times first thing in the morning and last thing before sleep at night.
- In a journal or notebook, make two lists, on the left hand side of the page, list ways you help, serve or attempt to make life easier for others at home or work; and on the right hand side of the page, list ways you help or attempt to improve the quality of your life, health and relationships.
10. What affirmations will best serve to infuse your actions with passion and momentum?
In this final step, you formulate one or more succinct, empowering, inspiring affirmations that are specific to infusing your particular goal with passion to act and maintain your momentum. This turns your goal into an statement that powerfully energizes the optimal emotional-physiological states in your mind and body that you need to support you to realizing your goal.
EXAMPLES of succinct, affirmations that can infuse your mind and body with the high-frequency emotional energy you need to take action in the direction of realizing your goals.
- Even though I am unhappy about and want to change certain aspects of my life, I fully and completely love, value and accept myself just as I am.
- I now fully enjoy being a confident and energetic person.
- I am free to now easily see myself as an asset to my family, company or community.
- In my home and work, I am loved, valued and accepted just as I am.
No matter what your personal goal is, you can use these steps to successfully influence your subconscious to make the positive changes you desire to achieve. It takes courage and wisdom to take the reins as captain of the ship of your life.
You achieve this by working consciously with your subconscious mind, the part of the mind that controls the autonomic processes of your body. It's essential to form a working relationship with this powerful part of your mind because it is in charge of forming or breaking habits, strategies — and even addictions.
It's all about consciously disallowing your body's sensory system, or survival response, to take over your life with default choices by making conscious choices instead.
The key to realizing what you want rests in your ability to remain consciously focused on what you really, really want, and simultaneously hold an impassioned understanding of the connection between realizing your goals, big or small, and fulfilling core emotional drives, to energize the momentum and action you need in the direction of realizing what you aspire.
Why not soar like an eagle? You always have a choice to put your life in high gear with conscious-love in action.
Relationship consultant, author, licensed marriage and family therapist, Dr. Athena Staik shows clients how to break free of anxiety, addictions, and other emotional blocks, to awaken radiantly healthy lives and relationships. Dr. Staik is currently in private practice in Northern VA, and writing her book, Safe Enough to Love™: Breaking Free of Addictive Love in Couple Relationships. To contact Dr. Staik for information, an appointment or workshop, visit www.drstaik.com, or visit on her Facebook fan page DrAthenaStaik
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The Truth About Hypnosis
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